Unreasonable

I've been in Italy a long time. I should be used to it. And yet...
Daily life can sometimes be an exercise in frustration, a daily banging my head against the wall at the sheer lack of logic, lack of practicality which is endemic. But is it only in Italy? I've been here close on 20 years so maybe I've lost perspective.

This past month has seen the widespread condemnation of the actress Asia Argento for bravely opening up about her personal contact with an American monster/ogre/whatever-you-want, a man who used his position to use and abuse. It was a classic case of shaming the victim whipped into a frenzy by the Italian media and making pundits out of the general public. The victim was responsible for what had happened to her seemed to be a widespread opinion. And it was hard to tell whether it was the men or the women who were more condemnatory.

Likewise, in a less horrifying way, when I decided not to go into the dog park because there was a large male dog who had taken such a dislike to mine that he set on her for no reason, I was told that, in fact, it was my dog's fault. Really? How so? I queried. If she weren't so shy, she wouldn't be attacked was the answer. I was astounded. I pictured the last violent encounter, when my dog had rolled onto her back in the classic surrender pose and the other dog had continued regardless, nipping at her exposed belly. So, it was in fact yet again the victim's fault.

Italians don't shy away from speaking up or making a fuss. They protest regularly: en masse. Demonstrations are a feature of living in Italy. Not a week goes by without one. But actually sticking up for a principal, sticking to ones guns in the face of adversity, effectively fighting continual unjustified price hikes, making teachers in state institutions accountable for their actions, getting rid of a plague like system of 'raccomandazione' which sees people get jobs through connections rather than on merit regardless of their ability to do the job.. well, no, that just isn't the done thing.

Asking too many questions makes one liable, it would seem, it makes one into a target for the bullies. And, they're everywhere. Curiously,, when I first came to Italy,  I was told that bullying didn't exist in Italian schools. I was incredulous. It just turned out that while it definitely existed it wasn't mentioned. Part of the, 'if you don't talk  about it, it doesn't exist' mentality that permeates all strata of life.

Don't query your child's grades for fear that his teacher will take it out on  him. Don't ask why the condominium fee has gone up by 30% because it may go up even more as a 'punishment', don't ask why you have to pay for a TV licence when the digital signal doesn't work so you can't get state TV, don't ask why the workers doing 'obligatory' work in your flat are not liable should they botch the job, but you are.... Don't ask. Don't become visible. Stay a victim of an unreasonable system. That's what you signed up for.
So unreasonable. But isn't it so everywhere?